That Other L Word
by Rose Thorne
Summary: Zel gets some news that makes him give up, and Gourry and Lina find him. Lina/Zelgadis/Gourry.


**That Other L-Word**

by Rose Thorne

Disclaimer: _Slayers_ is owned by a bunch of folks who aren't me. I'm borrowing them for my perverse pleasure, much as Xellos borrows emotions for his.

* * *

It was when Lina and Gourry had gotten him mostly sober that he remembered why he'd been looking to drink himself to death.

Even though he had been on the road searching for a cure for five years now, Zelgadis had always made sure to keep in touch with Amelia, writing weekly letters so she would know he hadn't given up. And she always returned them, encouraging as ever. The hint that she was keeping her promise to wait for him kept him searching despite the disappointments, despite the fear that Rezo was right.

She had always been so positive, so hopeful, that he hadn't seen it coming. There were no hints in her letters that she had given up on him until the wedding invitation that said it all while also saying nothing. Just like that, there was nothing to go back to.

Lina and Gourry were probably the last people he wanted to see. They were a happy couple—at least as happy as they could be with Lina's violent temper and Gourry's forgetfulness. Where their presence was generally welcome, it only reminded him of how alone he was.

He was repulsed by his own scent, a distasteful mixture of stale booze and bodily fluids best not identified, and he could only imagine how disgusting he looked. He still had enough pride left to be embarrassed that they'd seen him like this.

"I need a drink," Zel muttered, managing to focus on Gourry's face. He figured of the two of them, he'd be easier to convince that alcohol was, indeed, necessary. The blond was the only one in the room anyway.

Gourry shook his head. "Nuh-uh. Lina said only water."

Zel wanted to curse at that, but he was afraid if he opened his mouth again his brain would spill onto the floor.

"Plus most poisons don't work on you, so alcohol won't kill you. It'll just make you wish you were dead."

Zelgadis had a suspicion that Gourry was parroting someone else, but he chose to focus on one word. "What doesn't fall under 'most'?"

Gourry shrugged, looking a bit worried that he'd ask. "Dunno. Xellos didn't say."

He made an aborted move to sit up and fell over, trying not to throw up. He couldn't imagine why the damn Mazoku would involve himself. After a moment, he managed, "He's _here_?"

"Oh, no. He just told us where you were. Said you were 'unsavory,' whatever that means."

It took Zel a moment to figure it out as well, and then he realized that Xellos had meant that his emotions tasted bad. He was torn between feeling insulted, hurt, and relieved.

"I hope the bastard chokes," he finally huffed.

He hadn't noticed Lina come in, and her too-loud laugh made his head throb. "At least you still have your sense of humor."

Zelgadis closed his eyes, grimacing. "Go away."

She sighed. "Zel, we're not going anywhere."

He didn't bother responding to that. Instead he forced himself to ask the one question that had been weighing on his mind, the question whose answer he wasn't sure he wanted.

"Who is she marrying?"

Lina looked uncomfortable and didn't answer, and it was Gourry who did. "She says he's Pokota, but I remember him being a little flying thing."

"Since Duclis can't go back to being human, they figured out how to put Pokota's soul in Duclis' human body," Lina clarified.

Zel closed his eyes against their pity. "So he found a cure."

"It was a couple of years ago, Zel. They just… hit it off."

"And they can actually get married," he muttered.

Lina poked him. "Hey, she waited for five years. You never came back. She never cared about you being a chimera, Zel."

"Phil did." He opened his eyes and saw Lina frowning at him. "Remember what he told Duclis? About having no place in human society? That lecture wasn't just for him."

"No way," Lina said, but she looked uncertain.

"No one would accept someone who looks like _this_ as a ruler of Seyruun. He knew that, and he made sure I knew, too."

He'd tried not to be bitter about it. Phil had only been honest, and had informed him in the least confrontational way possible. It didn't make him feel better about it, but nothing ever would.

There was an uncomfortable silence before Lina tried again. "Well, drinking yourself sick won't solve anything."

"No," he muttered, remembering Gourry's words and feeling more than a little bitter that, once again, he wasn't in control of his own life. "Clearly it won't. I never do get what I want."

Pain exploded in his head. He realized the split second before he blacked out that Lina had smacked him.

When Zelgadis regained consciousness, the first thing he realized was that he didn't smell terrible anymore. The implications embarrassed him. His dry throat and the pounding in his forehead told him that he'd completely sobered and was on his way to a wicked hangover unless he drank some water.

His next realization, when he started to sit up, was that there was someone in bed with him. Two someones. He opened his eyes to find Lina and Gourry both in bed with him, snuggled against either side of him.

Not only that, but he was shirtless, Gourry was only wearing boxers, and Lina was wearing a red nightgown of sorts that really hid nothing—he had to force himself not to look at either of them. He'd always known, ever since they had battled Shabranigdu together the first time, that he had no place with them. Not like this.

It was why he'd left afterward.

Zelgadis had no idea how he'd gotten in bed with them, but there was no way this was where he was supposed to be—had he sleepwalked? Unless he wanted to be pummeled by Lina, he knew he had to get out of there.

When he tried to slip from the bed, his movements woke Gourry.

"Stop moving around or you'll wake Lina up," the blond murmured, then sat up and poured him a glass of water from the pitcher beside the bed.

Zel could only stare at him, frozen. Gourry's reaction—or lack thereof—was confusing. Or maybe it was Gourry who was confused?

Gourry pressed the cup into his hand, frowning at him. "Drink."

He obeyed, handing the empty cup back for a refill when he was done. "What happened? How did I get… here?"

The swordsman refilled it and handed it to him again. "Lina hit you too hard and you got sick. So I cleaned you up and she cleaned the room up, and then we went to bed."

That explained very little. He'd guessed that he'd been cleaned up—and having his suspicions confirmed made him feel worse. But he didn't know why they'd gone to bed with him, and he didn't want to ask. Likely it'd been in case he got sick or something.

He was halfway through his third glass of water when Gourry asked, "Why were you trying to drink yourself to death, Zel?"

The look on Gourry's face bothered him. It was like the blond thought he had done something to directly cause it, that it was his fault. Zel felt like an ass. He hadn't even considered how it might hurt anyone else. He hadn't cared, really. Just wanted it to end.

Zelgadis looked away. He knew he owed some sort of explanation. "I'm just… tired," he whispered.

"When I'm tired, I sleep," Gourry said sagely.

"Not that kind of tired." Zel sighed. "Tired of… everything. Of being disappointed. Being alone. Searching for something I'm never going to find. I don't even have anything to look forward to now. Nothing's gone right since Rezo did this to me, and I'm tired of fighting."

"So stop fighting?"

Zel wasn't sure whether to be irritated with Gourry's simplicity, or to envy it. "I tried," he whispered. "Didn't work."

He watched as the blond's confusion faded into even deeper worry, touched with a little sorrow. "I'd miss you if you died, Zel."

Lina touched his shoulder, and he jumped. "You're not alone, you know. You'll always have us."

He avoided looking at her. He knew well enough that he didn't have them. He was a third wheel. Being around them actually hurt more than being alone.

"You don't have to let yourself be disappointed."

"Yeah, because a cure's going to come along any day now and fix things."

He was startled when Lina shoved him back on the bed and loomed over him, glaring. "Dammit, Zel! You don't need a cure! You never did!"

"We like you the way you are," Gourry added. "I mean, we stayed away because we thought you'd be with Amelia, but…"

Zel froze, looking between them. "What…?"

Lina looked embarrassed. "We didn't want to get in the way. But you're not, so…"

His mind whirled at that, at what she seemed to be implying, but there was no way it could be true. It was just as fake—maybe even moreso—as Xellos' attempt to seduce him so long ago, before they knew that he was Mazoku. He'd told the bastard to stuff it, and it turned out that his suspicion and distrust had saved him a lot of grief.

She reached toward his face, and Zel caught her arm, schooling his expression, refusing to show how it hurt. "I don't want your pity."

Lina's eyes narrowed. "Think carefully. What, exactly, gives you the impression that I would sleep with someone I pity?" she asked dangerously.

He blanched and let go of her. "I-I didn't mean…"

Her face softened a bit. "Zel, you never had to help me fight Shabranigdu. Or any of the other fights we had. Even Gaav and Phibrizo had nothing to do with you, but you and Gourry were always there. How could we not like you?"

"Like, yes. But—"

Lina scowled at him. "If you make me say the other l-word, I'll kick your ass."

Zelgadis knew she was serious, and he wasn't sure what to say. He'd never even considered that they might want to include him, but polyamory wasn't something he'd ever considered. When he'd been a part of the bandit group, he'd done his fair share of sexual experimenting—before Rezo had cursed him, anyway—with both men and women. Afterward, no one had been interested in touching him as anything more than an oddity, and he hadn't wanted anyone to see his hideous body, anyway. He hardly even wanted to touch himself.

He wasn't sure who started it. Maybe it had been Gourry nibbling at the back of his neck or Lina trailing a hand down his chest. But the physical contact startled him—not in the least because it was sensual.

"You think too much," Lina murmured. "Just relax."

Lina got a strange, impish look, the kind she got when she was contemplating bandits or treasure or magical lore, and Zel felt naked even before she grabbed at his waistband. Her hands were too quick for him, but he tried to squirm away from her gaze anyway.

Gourry grabbed his wrists. "Nothing I haven't seen before, Zel."

But Lina hadn't, and even when Gourry had the situation hadn't been sexual, and Zelgadis couldn't help the shame he felt for his body. He was horrified to realize he was becoming aroused, and he didn't want to see their reaction to the most embarrassing feature of his body. He closed his eyes, wishing he could make himself invisible.

Lina touched his face, and he was startled enough to look at her. She looked worried again. "You haven't done this?"

If possible, that was even more mortifying. But he supposed it was true, in a way. "Not since…" He couldn't finish and shrugged awkwardly.

He was a little surprised when Lina grinned again. "We'll take our time, then."

She took advantage of his open-mouthed shock to kiss him breathless. Lina only pulled back to shed her nightgown and reveal pert breasts that, despite all the jokes over the years and her own self-consciousness, Zel thought looked perfect on her petite body. She wasn't wearing underwear. By the time Gourry let go of his wrists, Zel wasn't really capable of resisting, their touches and caresses overloading him with sensation.

It had been so long since anyone had even wanted to touch him like they were—at least, anyone who truly meant it—and he wanted and needed it more than he'd realized.

Even if it was only once, he wanted this.

Gourry's slick fingers prodded him, and he relaxed into the touch, moaning as those fingers penetrated him, as Lina touched him.

He felt like he was losing track of time. It felt like forever had passed, or perhaps no time at all, and Gourry's fingers were gone. Gourry pulled at him, lifting him, and Zel almost protested before he remembered the blond wielding the stone sword in the fight against Gioconda—pure stone, that had likely weighed more than he did.

A thrill shot through him when Gourry pressed against his rear, when he remembered exactly how big he was.

"Relax," Gourry whispered.

But Zel couldn't, not when he knew that he was so much stronger than either of them, that he could hurt them or worse if he lost control. Whether he wanted this or not, it was a bad idea.

Before he could say anything, Gourry was pushing into him and he lost the breath to speak. Sensation, pain and pleasure almost rippling through him, overwhelmed him and nearly sent him over the edge—embarrassingly, before they really started.

He was just regaining his breath when he realized that Lina had climbed into his lap. He wanted to stop her—he had stones down there that he doubted would be comfortable—but he couldn't move in time. When she impaled herself on him, the sensations broke through his tenuous control. Zelgadis came so abruptly that it was almost painful.

Zel was mortified, and that didn't abate when Lina laughed. If it hadn't been for the fact that he was sandwiched between her and Gourry, he might have left. As it was, he couldn't look at her.

She touched his face. "Don't worry, Zel. You did say it's been a while. It's not like this is going to stop us."

He stared at her, shocked. She grinned, and he realized she was flushed and panting. She didn't seem to be in pain, and that was a relief despite his humiliation.

"We'll just have to take it slower," Gourry murmured into his ear.

The blond shifted, setting Zel into his lap, hooking an arm around his torso. Lina settled more firmly in his lap, and he could only groan when she shifted, bringing him deeper.

He could feel their heartbeats, Lina's vibrating around him, Gourry's inside. They were holding him, caressing him. Zel hadn't been so close to anyone, hadn't felt this feeling of completeness, in a long time.

His arousal surged, and then Lina and Gourry were moving. Zelgadis wasn't sure how to move, how to find a rhythm with two people. His own movements seemed to counteract what they were doing.

He was relieved when Gourry gasped, "Don't worry. We got it. Just relax."

It wasn't easy, but he did, letting Gourry and Lina direct his body, direct the tempo of their thrusts and his movements. He wasn't sure what to do with his hands, and settled one on Lina's hip, and gripped one of Gourry's thighs with the other, holding on.

Heat enflamed his body, rising slowly through his belly, stoked by each movement of Lina's hips, of Gourry pounding into him. Time didn't exist, had stopped or slowed somehow, and he could feel every bit of pressure, every shift, every heartbeat, could hear their breath slow and loud, mingling with his own, speeding and becoming harsher as the heat spread.

Lina moaned and her entire body tightened on his, sending flames shooting up his spine and overwhelming him entirely, whiting out his vision with its intensity.

When Zel was able to focus again, he found himself in a tangle of limbs—sticky, exhausted, sore, and sated. Points of pleasure broke through his haze: Gourry's arm draped over his hip, warm skin against his back, his chest, a slender leg hooked over his own.

He managed to open his eyes and found Lina nuzzled against his chest, already drooling. Gourry was draped partially over him, hugging both of them, his breath light against Zel's ear.

He thought they were asleep until Gourry murmured, "Gonna stay with us, Zel?"

Zelgadis felt a smile tugging at his lips. For once, he was too exhausted, too happy, to think. Thankfully, the answer didn't require thought.

"Yeah."

"Good," Lina muttered. "Won't have to kick your ass."

He couldn't find the energy to laugh at that, and nothing else needed to be said. He relaxed, letting the warmth of their bodies, their love, lull him to sleep.

* * *

Written for Springkink on LJ. Prompt was: "Lina/Gourry/Zelgadis: Slow and/or prolonged sex - make time stand still for awhile." Also horribly late because I'd never written a threesome before. I hope it doesn't suck.


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